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Discipling Children, Same Sex Attraction, and Homosexuality (Part 2)

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April 1, 2015 Comments Off on Discipling Children, Same Sex Attraction, and Homosexuality (Part 3) Views: 437 Family

Discipling Children, Same Sex Attraction, and Homosexuality (Part 3)

[Note: This is part 3 in a 3 article series on discipling young adults, teens and children in God’s design for sexuality and marriage. You can find part 1 here and part 2 here.]

But, what if it’s too late?

What if you have departed God’s design for marriage? What if you and your spouse do not practice biblical gender roles? What if you are divorced? What if your child knows you embraced premarital, heterosexual sex? What if you and your child’s other parent are unmarried and cohabitating?

Thanks to the grace of Jesus Christ, it is never too late. It is not too late for you to turn from the design for sexuality and marriage you have been following, and to turn to Jesus Christ in faith based surrender to His Lordship. Jesus Christ is God’s means for you to recover and pursue God’s design for your sexuality and marriage. If you do, because of Christ’s grace, your support of God’s design for sexuality and marriage as a single, married, or remarried parent will start wielding great influence on your child.

You can’t leverage Christ to work on your child; you can only surrender yourself fully to Him.

So, first, you must humble yourself before the Lord and personally embrace His design for sexuality and marriage. Don’t do this because you want to influence your child; do this because you want to surrender yourself fully to Jesus Christ. You can’t leverage Christ to work on your child; you can only surrender yourself fully to Him and trust Him to work through you on your child. This means that if you have never confessed to Him the sin of not practicing biblical gender roles, your past unbiblical divorce, or your premarital sex with the one you eventually married, you need to. Repent of your sin; you can trust Him, He loves you so much. Do you need to confess rebellion against His design for sexuality and marriage up until now?

Then, by faith, commit yourself to His design for sexuality and marriage. No, it won’t be easy. Yes, it will take time. Yes, things might be really messy right now. But remember, you are not committing to instantly master God’s design, that’s impossible. You have committed by faith based surrender to Christ to take the first steps of turning from any other design and turning fully to God’s design. This has opened the flood gates for His grace to pour in and as you continue to practice faith based obedience in the arena of sexuality and marriage, His grace will continue to work things out in you.

Now, another hard part. Your child needs to know that what they have been seeing from your marriage and sexuality is not what God offers; right now, they think it is. Your child also needs to know a line of demarcation has been drawn in the sand: what they have witnessed from you until now was “sexuality and/or marriage pre-Christ’s design” and from now on what they are going to see is “sexuality and/or marriage according to God’s design.” This requires a sit down conversation in which you explain it to your children. This conversation will draw the line of demarcation in the sand for them. You need to explain to them God’s design for sexuality and marriage and then confess to them, with lots of discretion, your sin of abandoning God’s design. Then, you need to tell them you have apologized to the Lord, sought His forgiveness, and surrendered this to Him. Let your child know you have received His forgiveness. Then let your child know that you have committed yourself to God’s design. Yes, even if your child is now an adult, you need to have this conversation with them.

Finally, seek one-on-one discipleship in the arena of marriage from a mature believer who is a member of your local church. If you are doing this as a couple, find a couple to disciple you both in this arena. You need a Titus 2:1-6 relationship for a while; it is one of God’s key provisions for you to grow into Godliness.

Funny…the way to work on your child is actually for you to let Christ work on you. The greatest gift you can give your child is a parent whose heart is fully surrendered to Christ. He is standing at the ready. He is for you. Surrender yourself to Him and let Him get to work on you.

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