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Baptism and Small Children

Discipling Children, Same Sex Attraction, and Homosexuality (Part 2)

March 30, 2015 Comments (2) Views: 1197 Family, Featured

Discipling Children, Same Sex Attraction, and Homosexuality (Part 1)

[Note: This is part 1 in a 3 article series on discipling young adults, teens and children in God’s design for sexuality and marriage. You can find part 2 here.]

More and more, Christian parents are finding out how normal same sex attraction, bisexuality, and homosexuality are to their pre-teens, teenagers, and young adult children. The common reaction of Christian parents is shock. In one sense, shock and righteous indignation over acceptance of sinful behavior is Christ-like. In a parenting sense, shock that your child has a completely different perspective than you on human sexuality is naive; dangerously naive.

Dad and mom, let me give you some truth: your teens and young adult children, raised in your Christian home, very likely have a different perspective on human sexuality than you do. As a friend of mine sums it up, they are growing up in a generation in which “gay is ok.” I am not saying your child is gay, I’m saying their perspective on same sex attraction and homosexuality is likely very different to yours. If that is not your reference point in discipling them about human sexuality, you are going to have a hard time raising them in the training and instruction of the Lord.

I’m going to make sense of their perspective to you. Their view on same sex attraction and homosexuality is the same view Christian adults in their 40s and 50s have on heterosexual divorce, and the same view Christian adults in their late 20s and 30s have on heterosexual sex before marriage. Your teen’s lack of shock regarding homosexuality resembles your lack of shock regarding heterosexual divorce and/or heterosexual premarital sex. Did you know the same shock you have that your child thinks “gay is ok” is the same shock you are supposed to have that YOU think divorce is ok or heterosexual premarital sex is ok?

Dad and mom, homosexuality is an objective, conceptual topic to you because in your generation, same sex attraction was either less common or kept hidden deep undercover. You likely grew up never knowing someone around you was gay; thus, it was not personal to you. On the other hand, divorce and/or premarital sex are not objective, conceptual topics to you; they are personal, sensitive topics to you. This is because you are divorced or had premarital sex or because close loved ones are divorced or cohabitating. There is a face and name on the topic and it suddenly becomes very personal to you; a sensitive topic. You may even be sensitive to the point that you get angry and defensive if a pastor or bible study teacher teaches about divorce or premarital sex. When someone speaks about divorce, you hear them talking about your friend. Well, when you talk about homosexuality, your child hears you talking about their friend; they may even hear you talking about them.

The topic of homosexuality has a face and a name; it’s personal to your child.

In the culture in which our teens and young adult children are growing up, it is a very real possibility they may find themselves with same sex attraction; they will certainly have multiple friends who do. I’m talking about real friends, not acquaintances. So, for your child, the topic of homosexuality has a face and a name and thus it is very personal and sensitive, just like divorce and/or premarital sex is to you. Your child struggles to know how to think through homosexuality and their friends like you struggle to think through heterosexual divorce or premarital sex with your friends.

So, don’t go ballistic on your child if you find out they have a completely different perspective on sexuality and marriage than you do. Take a deep breath and extend grace to them as our Lord has extended grace to you. Think of it like this: your child condoning homosexuality is no different than you condoning easy heterosexual divorce; both are a departure from God’s design for marriage. In other words, you can’t go ballistic on your child for condoning homosexuality simply because you don’t go ballistic when you hear about Christians getting a heterosexual divorce. That would be hypocrisy. Abandonment of God’s design for marriage at any point in the design is sin.

Ok, so let’s take a deep breath and recognize our children live in a very different culture than the one in which we grew up. In the next post, I’ll talk about what to do to disciple your children in the arena of human sexuality.

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2 Responses to Discipling Children, Same Sex Attraction, and Homosexuality (Part 1)

  1. netn2thec@hotmail.com' Lisa says:

    Thank you so much for addressing this Pastor Nathan. We were just talking about this with the High School Juniors we teach on Sunday mornings. It was eye opening to see the different viewpoints expressed by each one of them. Looking forward to your future posts.

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