Ephesians 5:23 says that the husband is the head of the home, both in relationship with his wife and his children (Ephesians 6:4). This headship position comes anointed by God with a spiritual dynamic that can’t be stopped: the husband and father has extraordinary influence in the home and is at all times stewarding that influence, whether he realizes it or not.
Recently, I was reminded of this in two ways. Last month, without discussing it with him, my ten year old son went to Nicole one evening and asked her how to set his alarm clock. The next morning, during my personal time with the Lord, I heard his alarm go off at 5:30am. That had never happened before. I heard rustling around and then he was coming down the stairs with his bible. He went to the coffee pot, got himself a cup of coffee, came and sat next to me on the couch, opened to the book of Matthew, read ch. 1, asked me a couple of questions, bowed his head and prayed. The entire sequence of events took place in less than ten minutes. I didn’t say anything. This went on for 11 days in a row. Then he got sick and had to stay in bed for a few days. That stopped his rythym and he hasn’t picked it back up. I waited for the right time and then casually asked him, “why did you start setting your alarm and getting up to read your bible and pray?” Here’s what he said, “because you do, so that must be what I should do.”
“Because you do – so that must be what I should do.”
Then, recently, he told me he wants to learn how to be a runner. He started asking lots of questions. He asked for a running plan. He started running. This morning, he told me he was excited to run tonight, to which I responded, “you don’t have to wait for tonight, you can go running this morning.” He gave a big ol ya-hoo, dropped what he was doing, put on his running shoes, and went running before school. He decided to be a runner simply because I am. I don’t expect it to last. He is ten and thus his “want to” doesn’t last very long yet, it is still in an undeveloped form.
But, nonetheless, you can see the dynamic at play. I don’t have to say anything. I just have to do something sincerely and make it my way of life over a long period of time, and the extraordinary influence that comes with my God given role in the home will eventually drag my family along with me…for better or for worse. It happens with my daughters and my wife, too.
Men, we can’t stop this design by God. We can’t put it off or put it on hold. Your family will be drawn to what you do with sincerity, over a long period of time. And we will have to give an account one day for what we did with this influence–those invested with much authority by the Lord will receive much accountability. You can see this as a headache or you can see it as a tremendous gift of grace from God to redeem your family and build the Kingdom in your home and your church. You can see your role as a drag or it can give you great hope–no matter how messy things might be in your home, you have a greater influence in your home than the rest of your family combined. There is no need to be heavy handed or domineering in leading your family. In fact, don’t do that, that will surely backfire–Ephesians 6:4. You have to lead through a sincere relationship with the Lord over a long period of time.
Isn’t this fantastic? At any point, if YOU will decide to surrender your heart completely to the Lord and you start walking with Him sincerely over a long period of time, just watch and see what happens to your family. God will tie them to the bumper of your life and they will be drawn along with you.